Do More of What Makes You Happy

I'm starting the week off with this:

I have a tendency to get completely immersed in business, paperwork, politics, activism, etc to the point that I just freak out, crawl under the covers, and refuse to come out for 3 days. Like everybody does, right?

I take everything so seriously, that I have to constantly remind myself to lighten up and to do something that doesn't feel like work.

I have to remind myself to do more of what makes me happy.

And I have to do it on the cheap, because I'm on a serious budget here.

This is what I'm doing this week that costs next to nothing, and just oozes happiness all over the place.

1.) Make stuff

 I make things. All sorts of things, but mostly I make jewelry. I sell it, but I also try to make things that I may never sell but that make me really happy to make.

This project wasn't free. I had to pay for some of these materials. BUT - a bunch of those beads were free. My friends give me their broken jewelry so I can do fun stuff like this. Friends are the best. Especially when they give you stuff.

2.) VOLUNTEER.

That's in all caps because that's how awesome I think volunteering is.

Plus - totally free.

I volunteer with our humane society for two hours every week walking dogs. Basically, I show up, and I hang out with dogs, in the middle of all sorts of awesome nature, and I disconnect from everything else in my life.

It's fantastic.

Also, one time when I was volunteering at the shelter, I ended up coming home with this guy and it turns out we're best friends. 

Serendipity.

3.) Dance. 

That whole "dance like no one is watching" thing? Yeah. You should totally do that. 

As it turns out, I'm not very good at dancing. But I love dancing. When I dance, my husband makes fun of me. Sometimes people point and laugh. I don't care.

I'm dancing.

Also, turns out, when bad dancers decide to dance anyway, other bad dancers feel ok about dancing and the next thing you know, everybody's dancing. 

Which is awesome.

4.) Sing

Singing is like dancing for me. I'm not good at, but I don't care. I sing.

OH!

For the record - singing isn't like dancing. If you suck at singing and you're just up in everybody's face all of the time, singing your songs, without a care in the world...

You. Have. To. Stop.

People want you singing in their face all of the time about as much as they want you to blow cigarette smoke laced with your morning coffee breath right up their nose.

Yeah. It's practically the same thing.

BUT...you should still sing. In your car, at home, at work when no one is around, with friends when everyone is singing together, at a karaoke bar and in the bathroom in your underwear with the brush as your microphone.

Turns out, it's actually good for your health, even if you suck at it.

This is what I'm singing to this month:

The Best Statement Necklaces by Independent Designers on Etsy Right Now

I'm obsessed with giant statement necklaces, but I very rarely find any that I would actually wear. Except for these. I spent hours on Etsy and I would, without a doubt, wear every single one of these. They're not cheap, but really great art shouldn't be, and each necklace here is absolutely a piece of wearable art.

Raw Brass Necklace by Ttereve.

Soutache Necklace by StudioGianna

Leaf Necklace by Inbarshahak

Blue Sparkle Necklace by AllThingsTinsel

Necklace by Distinguished Jewelry

Couture Necklace by Monikque

Petal necklace by BuddhaBead

Fluorite and Pearl Necklace by GinnyTaylorDesigns

Facebook goes down, Twitter responds appropriately

Facebook crashed today. The world freaked out.

Thousands are roaming the streets in tears shoving photos screaming'"DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!" #facebookdown pic.twitter.com/OfLAqswrRB
— Pixable (@pixable) September 3, 2014

Facebook is more dead than Albus Dumbledore right now. #facebookdown
— Professor Snape (@_Snape_) September 3, 2014

I just met my neighbours! #facebookdown
— Zach Bussey (@zachbussey) September 3, 2014

Facebook is down (･_･)っ (っ / Lﾉ┘ 　 ∧___∧ ⊂(・＿・ ) 　ヽ ⊂二/ 　(⌒) / ／　　　　　＼　tell |　　●　　　● | twitter ＼　　 ＿＿ ／
— refinery29 (@Refinery29) September 3, 2014

I might have to go into the next room to speak to my other half, instead of messaging him #facebookdown
— Jenny Hodge (@JennyHodge) September 3, 2014

Facebook is down for most of the world. Workplace productivity is at an all time high. #facebookdown
— OMG Facts (@OMGFacts) September 3, 2014

But who is going to crush the candy? WHO IS GOING TO CRUSH THE CANDY? #facebookdown
— Jarrett Bellini, CNN (@JarrettBellini) September 3, 2014

I don't know what to do with myself... Should I stalk people in real life? #facebookdown
— Alyssa Deitsch (@alyssadeitsch) September 3, 2014

I ain’t going to lie. That was the longest 3 minutes of my life. #facebookdown
— Ask Kissy (@AskKissy) September 3, 2014

Infusing Positivity Into Everything I do

...or trying, at least. I'm also trying not to pretend everything is perfect all of the time for the sake of marketing my little jewelry company. Sometimes stuff sucks. We should talk about it.


When I was little, I thought that there were 2 kinds of mean people. Little kids who were mean to other little kids, or adults who were mean to little kids. For some reason, I figured that when everybody grew up, they wouldn't be mean to each other because...well, I don't really know why I thought that. I just did.

So it came as a big surprise to me to discover that grown-ups can be bullies. I mean, professional, 40+, "you should totally know better than this" kind of grown-ups.

I know. I'm totally naive.

Anyway, apparently, when you start doing great things (I'm lucky enough to be part of an organization that does really great things!), people feel weirdly threatened by it. And they start being mean. Like - "Mean Girls" high school, Lifetime movie of the week, holy crap I can't believe this is real life kind of mean. And there's all sorts of weird politics involved, and lying and manipulating. For me, there was a lot of crying and beating my head against the wall as the result of this.

And then I had an epiphany. The details of how I finally came upon my epiphany are long and boring and completely uninteresting, but the important thing is, I got to where I needed to be, which is this:

I don't care anymore.

I mean, I don't completely not care, but at the end of the day, I can't control what other people think or do. The kind of people who are comfortable lying and spreading rumors and being manipulative and trying to hurt other people are always going to be like that. Even if I'm a complete asshole, or even if I'm Mother Theresa, people who are jerks are always just going to be jerks.  So while I might be still be bothered by it (like I'm bothered by a fly) I'm not going to be hurt by it anymore. Because flies can't hurt you - they're just really annoying.

I'm not going to let mean people change who I am. I did let it change me for the last 6 months. I let it make me sad and angry and bitter and tired and frustrated and then...

I stopped caring about people who don't care about me. I like who I am. I love my friends and family. I'm surrounded by people who do amazing things every single day. I like them. I care what they think.

I don't care about flies because seriously...so gross. Flies are gross.

Anyway, the moral of the story is this: I'm a good person, surrounded by good people. I have faith in this.

 I love joy. And love. And hope. And kindness. And I deserve those things, and I want to share those things with others. And sometimes I need to be reminded. So much so that I tattooed it on my skin.

A reminder - Be kind to others. Be kind to myself.

Tattoos aren't for everybody, so I made you this bracelet. (I mean - you knew at some point I was going to revert this back to my shop, right?)

Look! You can mix and match! 

Also, listen - I totally photoshopped this picture. I carry some major baggage underneath my eyeballs and I don't really like to show that so I airbrushed it out and made myself look well rested.

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." ~ Harriet Tubman

(You can have this. I mean - you can buy it, and then it will be yours to have.)

"Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future." ~ Robert H. Schuller

I have hope tattooed on my other wrist. I forgot to take a picture. Sorry about that.

And finally, in closing, in the immortal words of Wilson Phillips - someday somebody's gonna make you want to turn around and say goodbye. Until then, baby, are you going to let them hold you down and make you cry? No. You're not. Because you are awesome and things can change, things will go your way, blah blah blah, you know how it goes...

Placement of Brides and Grooms for Ceremonies

I recently coordinated a Jewish/Christian ceremony for a bride and groom. Traditional Christian ceremonies generally have the groom standing to the right of his bride. One of the reasons given for this was so that the groom could keep his right hand - his "sword hand" - free to defend his lady love, should any crazy bride knappers come to whisk his bride away. Even though the modern day groom may be sadly lacking in swordmanship, we still seem to like to place him in a manner that keeps his sword hand free. 

In our house, we call that the "remote control hand."

Superheroes probably don't worry about their sword hand. Mostly because they can fly and also because they're superheroes. (photo via James McGhee Photography)

However, In Jewish ceremonies, when standing under a Chuppah, the bride traditionally stands to the right of the groom. ( Notes the Psalmist: “At your right hand stands the queen” ~ 45:10).  

For this particular ceremony, there were also two ceremonies within the ceremony, where the Bride and Groom walked to two different tables and faced their family and friends. Because of the various facets of the ceremony and the two religions represented, the Bride stood to the right of her Groom under the Chuppah. When they faced their family and friends during the wine ceremony and the unity candle lighting, the Groom was to the right of his Bride. 

Brooke and Steve. Now happily married, with no sword fighting injuries to speak of. (Photo via Seth Morris Photography)

After the wedding, I did some more research and discovered that while some people are very attached to traditional placements of Brides and Grooms during the ceremony, some people would rather be placed in the most visually pleasing way possible, for the resultant photos/videos. Some people simply don't care where they stand, they just want to marry the love of their life and celebrate with cake and champagne. 

Just happy to be married. Probably thinking about cake and champagne, too. (Photo via James McGhee Photography)

I'm curious - what are your thoughts regarding where Brides and Grooms should stand?

PS - Helpful hint: Regardless of what you decide for your own wedding, be sure and let your photographer and videographer know. Placement of cameras and lighting is often dictated by where the Bride and Groom will be standing.

(Side notes: I originally was going to title this "Where Does the Groom Stand?" but kept accidentally typing "What Does the Fox Say?" and stopping to do a little techno dance. I also sang "Brides to the left of me, grooms are to the right, here I am...stuck in the middle with you" throughout the entire writing of this post.  I also promised myself that I would go get cake when I finished writing. These are things you should know, in case you're thinking of hiring me to help out with your wedding. There is a soundtrack to everything, and I always want cake.)