I have a tendency to get completely immersed in business, paperwork, politics, activism, etc to the point that I just freak out, crawl under the covers, and refuse to come out for 3 days. Like everybody does, right?
I take everything so seriously, that I have to constantly remind myself to lighten up and to do something that doesn't feel like work.
I have to remind myself to do more of what makes me happy.
And I have to do it on the cheap, because I'm on a serious budget here.
This is what I'm doing this week that costs next to nothing, and just oozes happiness all over the place.
1.) Make stuff
I make things. All sorts of things, but mostly I make jewelry. I sell it, but I also try to make things that I may never sell but that make me really happy to make.
This project wasn't free. I had to pay for some of these materials. BUT - a bunch of those beads were free. My friends give me their broken jewelry so I can do fun stuff like this. Friends are the best. Especially when they give you stuff.
2.) VOLUNTEER.
That's in all caps because that's how awesome I think volunteering is.
Plus - totally free.
I volunteer with our humane society for two hours every week walking dogs. Basically, I show up, and I hang out with dogs, in the middle of all sorts of awesome nature, and I disconnect from everything else in my life.
It's fantastic.
Also, one time when I was volunteering at the shelter, I ended up coming home with this guy and it turns out we're best friends.
Serendipity.
3.) Dance.
That whole "dance like no one is watching" thing? Yeah. You should totally do that.
As it turns out, I'm not very good at dancing. But I love dancing. When I dance, my husband makes fun of me. Sometimes people point and laugh. I don't care.
I'm dancing.
Also, turns out, when bad dancers decide to dance anyway, other bad dancers feel ok about dancing and the next thing you know, everybody's dancing.
Which is awesome.
4.) Sing
Singing is like dancing for me. I'm not good at, but I don't care. I sing.
OH!
For the record - singing isn't like dancing. If you suck at singing and you're just up in everybody's face all of the time, singing your songs, without a care in the world...
You. Have. To. Stop.
People want you singing in their face all of the time about as much as they want you to blow cigarette smoke laced with your morning coffee breath right up their nose.
Yeah. It's practically the same thing.
BUT...you should still sing. In your car, at home, at work when no one is around, with friends when everyone is singing together, at a karaoke bar and in the bathroom in your underwear with the brush as your microphone.
I'm obsessed with giant statement necklaces, but I very rarely find any that I would actually wear. Except for these. I spent hours on Etsy and I would, without a doubt, wear every single one of these. They're not cheap, but really great art shouldn't be, and each necklace here is absolutely a piece of wearable art.
...or trying, at least. I'm also trying not to pretend everything is perfect all of the time for the sake of marketing my little jewelry company. Sometimes stuff sucks. We should talk about it.
When I was little, I thought that there were 2 kinds of mean people. Little kids who were mean to other little kids, or adults who were mean to little kids. For some reason, I figured that when everybody grew up, they wouldn't be mean to each other because...well, I don't really know why I thought that. I just did.
So it came as a big surprise to me to discover that grown-ups can be bullies. I mean, professional, 40+, "you should totally know better than this" kind of grown-ups.
I know. I'm totally naive.
Anyway, apparently, when you start doing great things (I'm lucky enough to be part of an organization that does really great things!), people feel weirdly threatened by it. And they start being mean. Like - "Mean Girls" high school, Lifetime movie of the week, holy crap I can't believe this is real life kind of mean. And there's all sorts of weird politics involved, and lying and manipulating. For me, there was a lot of crying and beating my head against the wall as the result of this.
And then I had an epiphany. The details of how I finally came upon my epiphany are long and boring and completely uninteresting, but the important thing is, I got to where I needed to be, which is this:
I don't care anymore.
I mean, I don't completely not care, but at the end of the day, I can't control what other people think or do. The kind of people who are comfortable lying and spreading rumors and being manipulative and trying to hurt other people are always going to be like that. Even if I'm a complete asshole, or even if I'm Mother Theresa, people who are jerks are always just going to be jerks. So while I might be still be bothered by it (like I'm bothered by a fly) I'm not going to be hurt by it anymore. Because flies can't hurt you - they're just really annoying.
I'm not going to let mean people change who I am. I did let it change me for the last 6 months. I let it make me sad and angry and bitter and tired and frustrated and then...
I stopped caring about people who don't care about me. I like who I am. I love my friends and family. I'm surrounded by people who do amazing things every single day. I like them. I care what they think.
I don't care about flies because seriously...so gross. Flies are gross.
Anyway, the moral of the story is this: I'm a good person, surrounded by good people. I have faith in this.
I love joy. And love. And hope. And kindness. And I deserve those things, and I want to share those things with others. And sometimes I need to be reminded. So much so that I tattooed it on my skin.
A reminder - Be kind to others. Be kind to myself.
Tattoos aren't for everybody, so I made you this bracelet. (I mean - you knew at some point I was going to revert this back to my shop, right?)
Look! You can mix and match!
Also, listen - I totally photoshopped this picture. I carry some major baggage underneath my eyeballs and I don't really like to show that so I airbrushed it out and made myself look well rested.
"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." ~ Harriet Tubman
(You can have this. I mean - you can buy it, and then it will be yours to have.)
"Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future." ~ Robert H. Schuller
I have hope tattooed on my other wrist. I forgot to take a picture. Sorry about that.
And finally, in closing, in the immortal words of Wilson Phillips - someday somebody's gonna make you want to turn around and say goodbye. Until then, baby, are you going to let them hold you down and make you cry? No. You're not. Because you are awesome and things can change, things will go your way, blah blah blah, you know how it goes...
